Not everyone enjoys the holidays. The effort to pull off a perfect Christmas often produces stress and depression that can ruin your holidays.
“You are basically commanded to have a wonderful holiday, and you can have a wonderful holiday if you max out your credit card,” Cowley County Mental Health psychologist Jennifer Joseph said.”Don’t let the media guilt you into bankruptcy. Know your limits.”
Finance is one of three main trigger points of holiday stress or depression. Overspending during the holidays on gifts, travel, food and entertainment can increase stress, according to information provided by the Mayo Clinic.
Layoffs are not unusual around the holidays. Workers grow dependent on overtime and then suddenly find there is no more overtime because employers are cutting costs. Single mothers struggle to make it from payday to payday and can’t stretch paychecks any further. Social Security checks barely provide the necessities.
“People get stressed because they have no money,” Joseph, who serves as director of community support services for Cowley County Mental Health, said. “You can’t give your kids everything. We didn’t have everything growing up.”
Relationships also trigger stress and depression. Those facing the holidays without a loved one may find themselves especially lonely or sad.
“Nobody stops to think about people who are alone,” Joseph said. “People’s intentions are good but everybody is busy.”
Kids are just as vulnerable to stress and depression during the holidays as adults, according to Joseph. “You see it more and more because our world is changing so fast. In high school, they are exposed to things all the time that I never would have been,” she said.
The elderly are also at risk with depression, especially a woman whose personality was built around a husband who has died. They might not get out often because of the colder weather.
It’s important to understand the early warning signs of depression. Isolation – if that’s not normal for you – could be an indicator. Not answering the telephone, not opening the mail, feeling sad all the time and watching television hour after hour are also indications of depression.
“Force yourself to get out of the house,” Joseph said. “You could call a trusted friend.”
Kids might draw pictures to counter depression. Both kids and adults could write a letter or send a box of candy to a soldier.
Joseph suggests surrounding yourself with things you enjoy, such as friends or hobbies. Go where there are other people although a shopping mall may not be the place this time of year.
If you find the radio in the car depressing, turn it off. Don’t watch commercials on television if they make you sad.
“A lot of people in the area feel the same way,” she said. “There is always somebody worse off. Put things into perspective. Do something good for somebody else.”
The Mayo Clinic provided these additional tips to head off the holiday blues:
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
2. Set differences aside and accept family members as they are.
3. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities.
4. Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can’t do certain projects or activities.
5. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Some indulgence is fine but overindulgence only adds to stress and guilt.
6. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself.
Joseph also suggested volunteering your time if you are lonely. Churches and community dinners usually welcome volunteers. Visit a senior center or a shut-in.
“It doesn’t cost anything to give somebody a smile or say hello,” she said.
A counselor is always on call from the county’s mental health and counseling center. The emergency number is 620-221-9686 or 620-442-4554.
